Wednesday, November 28, 2018

pelicans, kingfishers 
and other migratory birds… 
with gentle pace
I enter my remote hut 
enjoying their foreign language

Poetry Corner, 28.11.2018 (Ed. Kathabela Wilson)

*****    ******    *****
https://coloradoboulevard.net/poetry-corner-otherworldly/


Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Butterfly Dream

desert marathon --
for a moment I look back
at my footprints

Mainichi News, July 11, 2016

Chinese Translation (Traditional)

沙漠馬拉松 --
我回頭看我的
一會兒

Chinese Translation (Simplified)

沙漠马拉松 --
我回头看我的脚印
一会儿

Comments by Chen-ou Liu, 25.11.2018

Combined with the zoom-in technique, the opening line sets the scene while the closing line elevates the haiku to a philosophical/contemplative level, and "for a moment" in the middle line effectively enhances the emotional aspect of the haiku.

We shall always look back to the footprints of yesterday to say had we know if we don’t take a critical look at today’s footsteps. There is always an alternative that is better than good.

-- Ernest Agyemang Yeboah 

Chen-ou Liu, 25.11.2018


https://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.com/2018/11/butterfly-dream-desert-marathon-haiku.html?showComment=1543208748068#c8905480003080436300

Sunday, November 25, 2018

One Man's Maple Moon: Lost Rainbow Tanka by Pravat Kumar Padhy


English Original

drizzling rain
all the day long
I await
the twilight sunshine
to paint my lost rainbow

Cattails, January 2016

Chinese Translation (Traditional)

一整天
在下毛毛雨
我等待
黎明的陽光
描繪我失去的彩虹

Chinese Translation (Simplified)

一整天
在下毛毛雨
我等待
黎明的阳光
绘我失去的彩

The upper verse sets the tone and mood of the tanka while the lower verse makes a thematic and emotional shift to reveal the healing power of imagination/hope.

Chen-ou Liu, 19.11.2918
https://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.com/2018/11/one-mans-maple-moon-lost-rainbow-tanka.html

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

the orphan
at the crossroad
he stares at
the safety slogans
painted on the billboard


Presence # 62 (Ed. Alison Williams)

Monday, November 12, 2018

Haiku Commentary, 12.11.2018

wave after wave
on an incessant journey 
another sunset 
when I long to change the taste

of salt, the colour of the wind

Skylark, 2:2 Winter Issue 2014

I feel that this tanka is about a hardship that a person is passing through. “Wave after wave” means shifting from one painful event to another, which seem like trials. But, the writer is persistently going through this journey, no matter how much time it takes.

I can also see that the person is fed up with his monotonous life and wants to change his circumstances, and the conditions that surround him.
Spiritually, it describes the endless journey of hardship where one discovers his or her true potential/abilities to change what he or she does not want to see or wish. Both salt and wind are quite significant in spirituality, as both significantly influence the mood and behavior of a person. I can see the person is still not getting on this path, as sunset indicates hopelessness, but also the awakening of hidden powers that can impact our aura. Overall, the writer beautifully disguised both spiritual and social lives in this tanka.
– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)
The feeling I’m overwhelmed with when reading this poem is a sort of breathlessness, with which the author seems to be trying to deal with. Sometimes life runs faster than us, challenging us to cope, to change, to follow the current of it… to me, it’s a poem about a humble human being, absorbed by the pressing and routine of time (incessant journey…. another sunset….) and the wish to feel free from material perception, which can lead to a more spiritual condition… Impermanence here is the red thread that runs through the tanka: of the beauty of nature, of human perceptions. I do feel all the tension to be more than a soul slave of the perceptions of its body, so a wish to go beyond flesh and bones and find peace of mind, an inner thoughtless shining silence.
– Lucia Fontana (Italy)
I think the two most important words in this tanka that trigger poetic symbolism and concepts are “journey” and “sunset.” A journey in this context could be one’s life, or a spiritual ascension. “Sunset” could be referencing an end of a period of time in one’s life.
I like the gradual pace of the tanka, and the astonishing, yet simple last line. The pace is reminiscent of the subject at hand. In terms of the last line, I believe the writer is expressing his dissatisfaction with the way things are in his life—even rudimentary things. In a sense, he seems to want to break out of reality.
The format of the tanka is the traditional idea of having the first three lines as short, long, short, and the last two lines being long. The poet uses this format well, and does not make the tanka heavy.
I like the use of “w” sounds in the first and last lines, which mimics the wind. The “s” sounds throughout the tanka can be said to be like the noise of waves. Other than this subjective impression, it makes the poem more musical and magnetizing.
An engaging, efficient, and deeply expressive tanka.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)
https://haikucommentary.wordpress.com/2018/11/12/pravat-kumar-padhys-wave/